Saturday, June 26, 2010

I loathe pumping.

I want to be the best Mommy that I can be for B. I want to give him everything that I possibly can. I want to nourish him the best that I possibly can. I want to give him breastmilk exclusively for as long as I possibly can. But I am so so so sick and tired of milking myself. I have noticed a small decrease in the amount that I get when I pump these days and I know it's just a matter of time until I can't keep up with B's appetite for milk any longer. I have a great feeling of guilt and stress that accompanies this inevitable situation. I really hate pumping, but I really want to give B the best milk I can. It is tough to try to keep myself up til all hours of the night or drag my butt out of bed in the middle of the night in an attempt to "jump-start" more milk. I originally wanted to make it an entire year with exclusive breastmilk feeding, but after a while of actually doing it, I had a reality check. I then changed my goal to 6 months. I have since made that revised 6 month goal and now am shooting for as long as I can take it. My boobs may decide for me. lol
I can only do the best that I can while keeping my sanity. I just need to shake this guilty feeling that goes along with formula feeding...
Now the dilemma is... stay up 2 more hours or go to sleep and try to get my butt out of bed in 3. 
Oh Baby....
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4 comments:

  1. I know how you feel about pumping. I HATED it. My milk supply also went down because of it. When I became a SAHM is only when it increased again. I have a feeling if I was still working I would have dried up sooner than I am. (just going through it now). Cheer up Mama, as long as B is happy and healthy I think your doing a good job, BF or FF.

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  2. Pumping sucks bad! I only do it if I'm engorged or for mixing with Lily's food so I only know a tad bit of how much it sucks. I can't imagine having to do it all the time! I give you major props for going 6+ months pumping and giving B the best.
    When Lily was sick the doctors told me to supplement with formula. It took me awhile to get past the whole "dreaded formula" out look, suck it up and just give my daughter what was best for her at the time. Maybe you can supplement with some formula and still pump, but cut out some pumping sessions. Definitely pump when you're output is the highest (for me in the morning) and maybe cut out when it's the lowest? There's no shame in supplementing or even giving all formula! Good luck girl :)

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  3. I am right there with ya! I'm going through this exact thing right now. I pump 3-4 times a day, 2 of those times being at work (which I hate!). I am getting less milk than I used to and on Friday morning, I emptied my freezer stash. That's when reality hit- I need to start supplementing. I think part of the decrease is due to solids. Jack eats twice a day and I'm going to add a third meal in a couple weeks. At home I exclusively nurse and he seems to be eating about the same, maybe a little less. I will continue nursing morning and night, so at least he'll only get formula at daycare. Right now I'm planning on making 6 ounce bottles with half breastmilk, half formula. Unfortunately this means I still have to pump throughout the day. It stinks! I bought my first container of formula yesterday. I hate it. $25 and it'll last me about a month if I do the half and half. I hate that I have to give him formula. I hate that I'm still going to be pumping every day. But we gotta do what we gotta do. There's no reason to feel guilty. We've done the best and given our babies the best when it most mattered. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty about giving B formula. It's better than not giving him enough milk. Good luck!!

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  4. I agree - pumping flat out SUCKS. I try to make myself feel better knowing that every ounce I pump equals 20 calories burned - maybe that'll help just a bit??

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