Sunday, February 28, 2010

Back to the grind.

My maternity leave is over. *tear*

I return to work tomorrow for the first time since little Baby B was born. I am feeling excited, anxious, sad, guilty... I know I am going to miss him so much!!! Hopefully it will be okay though after a week or so back...and we will fall into a routine that works for our little family. I have met the daycare lady and am confident he will be well taken care of, but I know that no one can love him or tend to him like I can. When I think about going back to work and not being able to be there 24/7 for my little guy, I do admit that I get a little upset. I wish that things were different and that I would be able to be home with him, but that's not going to happen for multiple reasons. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am also going to work for him, I am creating a home for him, I am ensuring we have great healthcare for him. I have realized in thinking about life there are a lot of things that have changed since he's come into our lives. The way you look at life changes a lot. There is a huge motivational shift when you have a little baby that depends solely on you. I want to give him a wonderful life and a wonderful home. And right now the best way for me to do that is to work. Hopefully he will not be at this daycare for long, though. I am hoping that my Mom retires soon so that we can just drop him off there. Nothing is better than family. It also helps that I think she likes him... maybe a little bit.
You know, just a tiny bit. ;)
Anyway, that's all in the future. I just hope Bennett knows that his Mommy & Daddy are doing the best that they can for him and our family right now. Even though we can't be with him all the time now, we still love him more than ever!!! I worry he will forget who I am or something. It makes me jealous to think that this other woman will be spending so much time with him now. Will he remember I'm his Mommy?? I am hoping so.


  1. I hope you have a great first day back! And don't worry - he won't forget who you are. Chances are he'll smile the second you pick him up and you'll feel a lot better :)

  2. I know exactly how you feel! Jack is going to a home daycare with a very loving woman who I know will be good to him. I just feel like I'm going to miss out on so much. What if he rolls over for the first time at her house and I don't see it? That would break my heart! But no matter what, they'll never forget who their mommies are and no one can compare to mom!


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