More Frustration.

Well, with wedding comes frustration. In more places than I would have expected.

I always thought getting engaged and having a wedding would be so much FUN!!! I knew there would be stress involved of course, but... I had no idea it would be like this. I'm not complaining, so to say... well, ok, yeah I guess I am. I am so fed up people and their bullshit!!! Yes, I said it. People are pissing me off...big time. I never realized that such a happy time would be full of so much bullshit. And that is the perfect word for it all. Bullshit.

I am, of course, excited. But... with that comes stress and hoping and working on making it the day that I have been envisioning for about a year now!!! I have done a lot of work for this one day and I just want it to go as smoothly as possible!!! I don't think that's too much to ask... but it's hard for me to let go of full control ... but I know that I have to.... but... it's hard!!!! It's hard to trust other people with one of the most important days of your life!!! It's damn hard!

So... the countdown is in the 'teens now and I am feeling it for sure!!! Cold feet??? Uhh, maybe a little bit... but just about changing my name. I know that I used to always think oh wow... that'd be so cool to marry Patrick LaVine and what not... but hearing Anika LaVine ... and seeing it... that is weird. So strange to me...completely foreign. I guess it will take some getting used to.... and I will have to work on my signature. I had Anika Steffl pretty well done.... damn it.

Work is slower these days. I'm bored with it. I can't wait for this week to be over... and then one more week until freedom for most of September. Patrick & I are only working 7 days in September. I cannot wait. You have no idea. NO idea. Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

And now looking back... I kind of wish that I would have enjoyed being engaged more. Strange to think that... but, I see shows where people are getting engaged and my friends just got engaged (Congratulations Cody and Jodi!) ... and it's like... did I really take it all in like I should have? Hmmmmm